great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
