I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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