I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
