OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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