Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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