covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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