is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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