do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
