would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
