dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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