i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's paint friendship bongs
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
