so that wasnt chicken after all
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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