Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
