he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
