Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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