We won't sleep together?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
