He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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