i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
