it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
