I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
