butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
