i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize