i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
