So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
