You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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