I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
