check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
