Betty ford says i'm here all night
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
