At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
