I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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