So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
