Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
