Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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