doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
