Tell her she can't have a vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize