from now on my penis is your penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
