You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
