do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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