in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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