Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
accomplished twins. life is a go
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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