i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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