Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize