I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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