i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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