You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
