I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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