i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
