how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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