Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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