Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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