Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
