I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
