Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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