she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
