Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
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