i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
