i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is classic penis vs brain.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
