You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
