She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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