Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize