you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i came on her dog
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
