i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
