i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
