if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
