Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
