Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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